syafiq:Eh,apasal ko tersengih sengih ni???
Ali:Aku dah dapat anak.....
syafiq:Oh,alhamdulillah.kau dapat aak lelaki ke perempuan???
ali:tekalah kalau kau pandai.....
syafiq:Anak perempuan....
ali:salah,tekalah lagi..
syafiq:ni cornfirm dapat anak lelaki..
ali:Eh, betullah.macam mana kau dapat tahu anak aku lelaki ha???
syafiq:sungguh benak kawanku ini.....
ULAT BELUNCAS.
Ada tiga sahabat, satu kura2..satu lagi katak..yang last ulat gongok. Suatu hari kura2 mengundang dua temannya kerumahnya buat jamuan kecil2an. So.. mereka bertiga buat le pesta kecil di rumah kura2.
Setelah asyik borak, makan, minum and lain-lain... si katak berkata : "Eh..dari tadi rasanya ada macam benda yang kurang la..korang perasan tak?....Ha ... patut..la rokok dah abis....... "
Kura2: "Iya la..sorryla gua lupa lak standby satu ....beli jer kat warong depan tuh!"
Katak: "apsal aku plak......kau kan tuan rumah"
Kura2: "ye la.... tapi bertahun la korang nak menunggu....siapa lagi cepat "
Katak: "so kalau gitu mintak je ulat gongok tolong....
Kura2: "Oh iya ya.. ulat gongok tolong gi jap"Ulat
Gonggok: "aiya.....korang ajela"
Katak: "ala ..gi saja la kita orang dah undi kau"
Akhirnya si Ulat gongok pergi juga untuk membeli rokok. Si Katak dan Kura2 menunggu ......
Lima minit menunggu...si Ulat gongok tak tiba juga...10 minit..20 minit...satu jam...dan sampai tiga jam Ulat gongok masih taktimbul-timbul.
Katak: "Ulat gongok pegi mana hah tak sampai-sampai..?"
Kura2: "Iye la .. risau jugak, jom kita cari!" Katak: "Jom..!"
Bila jer kura2 buka pintu...Ulat gongok sudah pun berada di depan pintu.
Kura2: "Hah tu pon dia..!"
Katak: "...mana rokoknya..mulut aku dah kering sangat ni..?!"
Ulat Gonggok: "..apa rokok-rokok...aku jalan pon belom..!!"
Katak: " Haah tak bergerak lagi ...jadi dari tadi buat apa...?"
Ulat Gonggok: "Yeeeeeeeeelaaaaa..korang tak nampak ke ni...aku tak abis lagi PAKAI KASUT..!!!!!"
TOK BATIN
Seorang askar rejimen PPH berjumpa dengan Tok Batin. Mereka mula bersembang pasal makanan, dari makanan kampung sampailah ke makanan western. Tok Batin tu tak mengaku kalah, tiap-tiap makanan yang diceritakan oleh askar tu semuanya dia dah try.
Mula-mula cerita pasal KFC, "Tu shaya dah terai dah, shedap....." Lepas tu cerita pasal Pizza Hut, "Tu shaya dah terai dah, shedap....." Lepas tu MOS Burger, "Tu pun shaya dah terai dah, shedap....."
At this point, askar tu dah syak Tok Batin ni nak temberangkan dia. Dia nak mengenakan Tok Batin tu pulak. Askar tu tanya, "Tok Batin pernah makan kari kepala ikan ?". "Tu pun shaya dah terai dah, shedap....." Askar tu tanya lagi, "Tok Batin pernah makan kepala keretapi ?". "Tu pun shaya dah terai dah, shedap....."
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
hahaaaa!
Before Marriage.... ..
Boy: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
Girl: Do you want me to leave?
Boy: NO! Don't even think about it.
Girl: Do you love me?
Boy: Of course! Over and over!
Girl: Have you ever cheated on me?
Boy: NO! Why are you even asking?
Girl: Will you kiss me?
Boy: Every chance I get!
Girl: Will you hit me?
Boy: Are you crazy! I'm not that kind of person!
Girl: Can I trust you?
Boy: Yes.
Girl: Darling!
After Marriage...... SIMPLY READ FROM BOTTOM TO TOP--
Boy: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
Girl: Do you want me to leave?
Boy: NO! Don't even think about it.
Girl: Do you love me?
Boy: Of course! Over and over!
Girl: Have you ever cheated on me?
Boy: NO! Why are you even asking?
Girl: Will you kiss me?
Boy: Every chance I get!
Girl: Will you hit me?
Boy: Are you crazy! I'm not that kind of person!
Girl: Can I trust you?
Boy: Yes.
Girl: Darling!
After Marriage...... SIMPLY READ FROM BOTTOM TO TOP--
Friday, June 11, 2010
Updates?
oh god. i just dont know what to update in this blog. hmm
sometimes i got full crap ideas to update, but when it goes to typing at the new post,
woossshhh! it flew away. all saved in drafts. -__-'
well, my holiday is full of boredom. i just sit back and online.
i stay up all night and sleep the whole day. :)
sometimes youtube. :) not redtube. -__-'
i used to watch this stupid videos. its about two brothers doing crap videos. haha. must watch! :)
i just cant stop laughing watching the video! :D
arent they got other things to do besides doing this crap videoosss?! ahahaa.
well, some people. :)
and i really need to hang out with my friends. it has been a WHILE! D:
all got other plans besides hanging out with me. hehh. sometimes i just need to be more rational. hehee. btw, sorry for not updating about my camp story. i guess u already heard from other students who went for the camp. it was just exactly the same as i did at the camp. :)
well i guess thats all. will update soon. :)
sometimes i got full crap ideas to update, but when it goes to typing at the new post,
woossshhh! it flew away. all saved in drafts. -__-'
well, my holiday is full of boredom. i just sit back and online.
i stay up all night and sleep the whole day. :)
sometimes youtube. :) not redtube. -__-'
i used to watch this stupid videos. its about two brothers doing crap videos. haha. must watch! :)
i just cant stop laughing watching the video! :D
arent they got other things to do besides doing this crap videoosss?! ahahaa.
well, some people. :)
and i really need to hang out with my friends. it has been a WHILE! D:
all got other plans besides hanging out with me. hehh. sometimes i just need to be more rational. hehee. btw, sorry for not updating about my camp story. i guess u already heard from other students who went for the camp. it was just exactly the same as i did at the camp. :)
well i guess thats all. will update soon. :)
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Jokie jokes
A man gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom.
He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting.
"What's up?" he says.
"I'm having a heart attack," cries the woman.
He rushes downstairs to grab the phone for ambulance, but just as he's dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says, "Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Fred is hiding in your closet and he's got no clothes on!"
The man slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, covering on the closet floor.
"You b*stard," the man says," my wife is having a heart attack and you're running around naked scaring the kids!"
ittle April was not the best student in Sunday school.
Usually she slept through the class.
One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?"
When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep.
A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Saviour," But, April didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. 'JESUS CHRIST!" shouted April and the teacher said, "very good," and April fell back to sleep.
Then the teacher asked April a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!"
The Teacher fainted.
He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting.
"What's up?" he says.
"I'm having a heart attack," cries the woman.
He rushes downstairs to grab the phone for ambulance, but just as he's dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says, "Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Fred is hiding in your closet and he's got no clothes on!"
The man slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, covering on the closet floor.
"You b*stard," the man says," my wife is having a heart attack and you're running around naked scaring the kids!"
ittle April was not the best student in Sunday school.
Usually she slept through the class.
One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?"
When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep.
A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Saviour," But, April didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. 'JESUS CHRIST!" shouted April and the teacher said, "very good," and April fell back to sleep.
Then the teacher asked April a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!"
The Teacher fainted.
Scout Camp
aaa. the scout camp was awesome and my group, Tun Teja or Gunung Ledang won the 2nd place for the best patrol. but it was way too tired. i sleep the whole day when i got back home. home sweeet home! hehee.
and where's all the photos? i want to seeeeeeeee! theres alot of my pictures i think. :D
and where's all the photos? i want to seeeeeeeee! theres alot of my pictures i think. :D
Act of Stupidity
oh my god! i couldnt believe my eyes! i was considered deceitful even though im just a friend with a guy. haha. i mean, i was wondering if i am so gorgeous that he thinks such like that. ;P
okay, he's trying to find my guiltiness when i stopped messaging him again. haha. seriously, in a quiet of a suddenly! and he said i wasnt being honest with him. wtf?!
but thats not my fucking problem. the fucking problem was, shin bakhtiar made up a story about me and a junior i met named A**** to asyraf. and the act of the stupidity was, he believed her! everyone knows she got mental problem. and he believed her. -_______-' and i was shocked about how pathetic they are! oh my god. she loved to made up stories about people. haha. she got problem with all people around her even though the people doesnt have any freaking problem with her. i remember when she messed up with that ariff asyraf guy, and she was soo freaked out! you should have seen her face! haha. why is she my sister?!
and asyraf, i would not apologize to you. never! :)
first thing of all, if you believe that im not being honest to you, go on! spit it out! because the PROBLEM STATEMENT is ;
Is that my problem?
the second thing, haha. if you feel that you are so a great guy, dont show your pissed off thingy about me in your facebook. guys dont do that. i mean that is soo like childlisshh! PFFFFTT! you already showed your immature there. and you pissing off about me with SHIN BAKHTIAR?! how sad. i couldnt stop laughing. it seems like you're also got some mental problem and psychopath or something. im sorry to say. but that's the truth. :)
okay, he's trying to find my guiltiness when i stopped messaging him again. haha. seriously, in a quiet of a suddenly! and he said i wasnt being honest with him. wtf?!
but thats not my fucking problem. the fucking problem was, shin bakhtiar made up a story about me and a junior i met named A**** to asyraf. and the act of the stupidity was, he believed her! everyone knows she got mental problem. and he believed her. -_______-' and i was shocked about how pathetic they are! oh my god. she loved to made up stories about people. haha. she got problem with all people around her even though the people doesnt have any freaking problem with her. i remember when she messed up with that ariff asyraf guy, and she was soo freaked out! you should have seen her face! haha. why is she my sister?!
and asyraf, i would not apologize to you. never! :)
first thing of all, if you believe that im not being honest to you, go on! spit it out! because the PROBLEM STATEMENT is ;
Is that my problem?
the second thing, haha. if you feel that you are so a great guy, dont show your pissed off thingy about me in your facebook. guys dont do that. i mean that is soo like childlisshh! PFFFFTT! you already showed your immature there. and you pissing off about me with SHIN BAKHTIAR?! how sad. i couldnt stop laughing. it seems like you're also got some mental problem and psychopath or something. im sorry to say. but that's the truth. :)
Friday, June 4, 2010
Stupid Essay! xDD(must read!)
Saya Ika, umur saya baru 15 tahun. Saya gagal dalam PMR, saya terus bekerja
untuk meringankan beban orang tua.
Saya telah terbaca sebuah iklan yang terpapar di kedai 7-Eleven. Jawatan
kosong sebagai Operator Kilang Penyapu di Sg Besi dengan gaji yang lumayan.
Hampir 6 bulan saya bekerja disana, walaupun saya dibawah umur tetapi saya
diterima bekerja untuk jawatan sementara. Dan sepanjang saya bekerja di
sana saya tidak mempunyai apa-apa masalah, walaupun umur saya muda, tetapi
perwatakan saya seperti anak dara yang meningkat remaja dan saya disenangi
oleh semua pekerja di sana lebih-lebih lagi pekerja lelaki kerana
masing-masing cuba memikat saya, maklumlah ayam muda....lalat pun tak
berani hinggap!!!!! Dan saya senang berkomunikasi dengan rakan-rakan
sejawat.
Saya juga selalu ambil 'overtime', maklum saje lah.....claim yang lumayan.
Saya tidak pernah kenal erti
penat....... . Dan dalam masa yang begitu singkatsaya telah dapat
menyimpan wang dan berbelanja dengan
sewenang-wenangnya.
Nak jadikan cerita...... , pada suatu pagi semasa bangun dari tidur, saya
terus ke bilik mandi. Semasa saya hendak mandi saya telah lucutkan towel di
badan saya.
Alangkah terperanjatnya saya kerana saya lihat ada beberapa helai bulu
yang kelihatan seperti bulu penyapu tumbuh di kemaluan saya.
Tanpa berfikir panjang saya teruskan juga mandi, dan terus bersiap untuk
ke Kilang Penyapu.
Sepanjang perjalanan saya ke tempat kerja, saya terfikir mungkin saya
sudah tidak sesuai lagi bekerja di sana (mungkin alergik penyapu).
Sesampai sahaja di Kilang Penyapu, saya terus bergegas jumpa Supervisor di
bilik khas. Saya pun
memberitahu hasrat saya untuk berhenti kerja pada hujung bulan nanti.
Supervisor itu gugup sebentar kerana tidak menyangka keputusan saya itu.
Mana taknya saya tahu dia ada hati dengan saya........ saya pun memberi
alasan tidak dapat bekerja disitu lagi kerana alergik dengan penyapu.
Lantas disuruhnya saya tunjukkan tempat yang alergik itu. Saya pun apa
lagi...tanpa segan-segan silu lagi
terus menunjukkan bahagian sulit saya yang alergik itu. Tetapi Supervisor
saya tidak menampakkan reaksi
terkejut....malah dia sendiri telah memberitahu saya dia pun alergik malah
lebih teruk dari saya. Saya pun minta dia tunjukkan tempat yang alergik
itu.
Alangkah terperanjatnya saya, apabila dia membuka seluarnya saya ternampak
bukan lagi bulu penyapu yang tumbuh malah ada batang penyapu sekali.. Saya
pun terus meminta berhenti 24 hours dan
terus keluar dengan seribu tanda tanya??????? ?
untuk meringankan beban orang tua.
Saya telah terbaca sebuah iklan yang terpapar di kedai 7-Eleven. Jawatan
kosong sebagai Operator Kilang Penyapu di Sg Besi dengan gaji yang lumayan.
Hampir 6 bulan saya bekerja disana, walaupun saya dibawah umur tetapi saya
diterima bekerja untuk jawatan sementara. Dan sepanjang saya bekerja di
sana saya tidak mempunyai apa-apa masalah, walaupun umur saya muda, tetapi
perwatakan saya seperti anak dara yang meningkat remaja dan saya disenangi
oleh semua pekerja di sana lebih-lebih lagi pekerja lelaki kerana
masing-masing cuba memikat saya, maklumlah ayam muda....lalat pun tak
berani hinggap!!!!! Dan saya senang berkomunikasi dengan rakan-rakan
sejawat.
Saya juga selalu ambil 'overtime', maklum saje lah.....claim yang lumayan.
Saya tidak pernah kenal erti
penat....... . Dan dalam masa yang begitu singkatsaya telah dapat
menyimpan wang dan berbelanja dengan
sewenang-wenangnya.
Nak jadikan cerita...... , pada suatu pagi semasa bangun dari tidur, saya
terus ke bilik mandi. Semasa saya hendak mandi saya telah lucutkan towel di
badan saya.
Alangkah terperanjatnya saya kerana saya lihat ada beberapa helai bulu
yang kelihatan seperti bulu penyapu tumbuh di kemaluan saya.
Tanpa berfikir panjang saya teruskan juga mandi, dan terus bersiap untuk
ke Kilang Penyapu.
Sepanjang perjalanan saya ke tempat kerja, saya terfikir mungkin saya
sudah tidak sesuai lagi bekerja di sana (mungkin alergik penyapu).
Sesampai sahaja di Kilang Penyapu, saya terus bergegas jumpa Supervisor di
bilik khas. Saya pun
memberitahu hasrat saya untuk berhenti kerja pada hujung bulan nanti.
Supervisor itu gugup sebentar kerana tidak menyangka keputusan saya itu.
Mana taknya saya tahu dia ada hati dengan saya........ saya pun memberi
alasan tidak dapat bekerja disitu lagi kerana alergik dengan penyapu.
Lantas disuruhnya saya tunjukkan tempat yang alergik itu. Saya pun apa
lagi...tanpa segan-segan silu lagi
terus menunjukkan bahagian sulit saya yang alergik itu. Tetapi Supervisor
saya tidak menampakkan reaksi
terkejut....malah dia sendiri telah memberitahu saya dia pun alergik malah
lebih teruk dari saya. Saya pun minta dia tunjukkan tempat yang alergik
itu.
Alangkah terperanjatnya saya, apabila dia membuka seluarnya saya ternampak
bukan lagi bulu penyapu yang tumbuh malah ada batang penyapu sekali.. Saya
pun terus meminta berhenti 24 hours dan
terus keluar dengan seribu tanda tanya??????? ?
Lemon tree.
HEY YA! LEMME GET THIS STRAIGHT! I DONT GIVE A SHIT ON YOU AND YOU AINT KNOW ANYTHING DUDE! IM JUST AN ORDINARY TEENAGE GIRL WHO DID AN EXTRAORDINARY THINGS WHICH IS I DONT REALLY KNOW. AND YES, GET YOUR ASS OUT OF MY FACE! HAHAHAHAHAHA ;D
i didnt mean anything on this. i just want to fill my blog updates. ;P
i didnt mean anything on this. i just want to fill my blog updates. ;P
Elasticity
finally. exam for mid term is over baby! :D
im so freee. ;P chemistry paper 3 was soo easyy! haha.
and yes! MID TERM HOLIDAY!! WHEHHEEE! thats what everyone's waiting for!
but still got no plans for the holidayy. maybe going to spend time at home.
and im away this weekend for scout camp! can't wait can't wait!
im readyy but still didn't pack up all the things. hehe. xP
well i think thats all for todayy. will update really soon.
have a nice holiday and take care! :)
im so freee. ;P chemistry paper 3 was soo easyy! haha.
and yes! MID TERM HOLIDAY!! WHEHHEEE! thats what everyone's waiting for!
but still got no plans for the holidayy. maybe going to spend time at home.
and im away this weekend for scout camp! can't wait can't wait!
im readyy but still didn't pack up all the things. hehe. xP
well i think thats all for todayy. will update really soon.
have a nice holiday and take care! :)
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
ADDMATHS
ever since i took exam on additional mathematic's paper, i really fell in love with admaths!(im saying this sarcastically)xD
i had a vision;
IM GOING TO FAIL FOR ADDITIONAL MATHEMATICS! D;
exams! why? im tired of taking exams. holidays coming really soon! i cant wait. ;D
every form 4 students laugh a lot after taking addmath's paper. maybe that's the way they release the tension i guess. so do i. i LOL a lot. SKEET SKEET. ;P
and this friday, PHYSICS PAPER 1, BIOLOGY PAPER 1, CHEMISTRY PAPER 3. isnt that great?!
i guess im not sleeping on thursday night! :l but after that, HOLIDAY!! WHEEHEEEE!
i had a vision;
IM GOING TO FAIL FOR ADDITIONAL MATHEMATICS! D;
exams! why? im tired of taking exams. holidays coming really soon! i cant wait. ;D
every form 4 students laugh a lot after taking addmath's paper. maybe that's the way they release the tension i guess. so do i. i LOL a lot. SKEET SKEET. ;P
and this friday, PHYSICS PAPER 1, BIOLOGY PAPER 1, CHEMISTRY PAPER 3. isnt that great?!
i guess im not sleeping on thursday night! :l but after that, HOLIDAY!! WHEEHEEEE!
Point of View.
i didn't realize i've been such in that pathetic situation. first of all, im know im stupid. second of all, i think that life is a bunch full of roses. i mean can u ever imagine that life is like a disaster?! hmm.
anyway, i was wondering if im doing this for my own sake. i thought i can plan all the things that will happen next. but it's not exactly what i thought. im just wasting my time hoping that he will love me back. imagine how stupid and pathetic i was.
and i didnt realize he was playing with my feelings and being kinda rude to me. but that's ok. at least i have some experience at my age. ;D
i just have to start thinking how good and happy he is now without me. and i was like what the fuck?! its like a piece of shit to him. haha.
but LET BY GONES BE BY GONES.
all that i have to do now is keep moving forward and forget about him. i've realized how pathetic and stupid i am to do like that. ;)
p/s; will update soon. tq.
anyway, i was wondering if im doing this for my own sake. i thought i can plan all the things that will happen next. but it's not exactly what i thought. im just wasting my time hoping that he will love me back. imagine how stupid and pathetic i was.
and i didnt realize he was playing with my feelings and being kinda rude to me. but that's ok. at least i have some experience at my age. ;D
i just have to start thinking how good and happy he is now without me. and i was like what the fuck?! its like a piece of shit to him. haha.
but LET BY GONES BE BY GONES.
all that i have to do now is keep moving forward and forget about him. i've realized how pathetic and stupid i am to do like that. ;)
p/s; will update soon. tq.
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