Nightmare.

What the fuck is happening here?! You know, every fucking night is a fucking nightmare to me! EVERY SINGLE FUCKING NIGHT! Is this what I have to do for my whole life?! OH FUCK OFF, i'm gonna end up killing myself! This is not what I want! Nobody fucking appreciate me, nobody fucking empathy me, nobody gives a shit about what I have done before! Nobody even understands me. I have nobody to talked to. I used to have my very best friend to talk to about ALL MY FUCKING PROBLEMS! But now I have nobody. I need my best friend. She's the only one who can understand me. And I don't know how to express my feelings now, so I'm gonna let go all of it here. I don't give a fuck about what I'm doing right now! I feel like crying everyday. I feel pissed off with everyone. I just want to disappear from all of these. THIS ISN'T WHAT I WANT. I have a bad dream in every single night. I hate this! hate hate hate hate this! I hate my life, FUCK MY LIFE! I'm not a good daughter, I failed to be a sister. I fight with my father. I don't want all these things happen! Why is this happening to me? THIS ISN'T WHAT I WANT!!! I hate this, I hate everything. I wish I can just go into a coma to just a little peace for just a little while. I wish I can take heroine and don't gives a shit about everything. I maybe a little over-reacting right now. But this is what I feel. I know there's more people have more problems than me. But i'm seventeen. I should be enjoying my life. NOT THIS! Every seventeen years old teenager doesn't have to face like these kind of fucking problems like me. I'm so jealous! I'm so fucked up. My emotions are all blended together and I have no fucking idea how will it be. Maybe Bipolar? Fuck this shit! FUCK EVERYTHING!